Tsukune And A Psychiatrist
by Dj tj
Summary: Just a regular day in the the life of rich, bored, eccentric Tsukune. You should read Me and some Butterflies before reading it.


Tsukune and a psychiatrist

…

This is a special event in my story "_Me and some butterflies". _I would like to finish my story but I just don't have much free time like I used to.

….

Insanity is passed down in our family. My Dad was an exceptionally lucky businessman. Everything he touched turned to gold. But suddenly in his mid-40s he just lost his mind.

I remember an incident from when I was eleven. One day I went into his room. He was relaxing in his chair sipping tea just lost in his thoughts. When he saw me his face lit up he said, "Hey son, did you hear I have gone mad. My brain has totally collapsed."

I asked him what he was saying.

He excitedly said that," Yes, it's absolutely true. Everyone is lying about my condition. They're telling everyone that I am just a little sick. But I know what the truth is."

"What's the truth dad?"

"Didn't I tell you? The truth is I am insane. Do you want to know what the symptoms are?"

"Tell me dad."

"Well, I can hear someone talking in my belly. Half of it I understand and the other half of it's just gibberish. You can listen to him if you put your ear on my belly. Come here son, listen to it."

Saying that he removed his shirt and showed his stomach. He was just playing with my mind. For a minute even I thought that I might hear someone.

After that he just started laughing at my face. So you can understand my confusion. I still don't understand if he was insane or just wanted to fool people.

Before him my grandma was also a peculiar case. She used to run around the front yard naked happily shouting- I am free, I am free.

So you can see there is a slight problem that runs in our family. But it had nothing to do with me. I am just a normal rich guy with a great amount of money and free time.

People tend to find different types of things to do to occupy their free time. A man with my kind of free time would naturally go insane. So I found different things to do. I like to read a whole lot of books. Sometimes I also do experiments. Earlier I told you about my monkey experiments. Recently I wanted to buy a Upas tree (_Antiaris toxicaria_). It's a highly poisonous tree. It's only 2.5 feet tall and is found on the Java Island. This tree is so poisonous that where it grows no other tree can grow in its two mile radius.

I wanted that tree. But I just couldn't find it. So I had an idea, why don't I turn a normal tree into poison. I bought different types of poison mixed them into water and gave them to the plants in my garden. But the trees died the next day.

Now if some outsiders saw me doing these stuff he will surely think I am insane. All of my weird pass time experiments and my family history made Moka question my sanity.

One day I was tying a rope to ceiling while standing on a chair. I suddenly noticed Moka was looking at me with weary eyes from far away. A few moments later see came forward and asked, "What are you doing?"

I answered, "Tying a rope."

"Why?"

"I want to hang myself. Today is nice day. I heard Sundays are nice for hanging from the ceiling."

Suddenly Moka screamed and fell to the ground. I couldn't tell her I was just trying to fix a swing. So I can read my books with ease also Moka could a sit with me while I read my books. When she woke up I couldn't make her believe I just joking.

She completely pictured in her mind that I have few screws loose in my head. She was paranoid if I would do something to hurt myself. I didn't pay that much heed to her. I didn't try to clear her suspicions. But like the loving and caring wife she is, she tried to cure me from my "illness"

She tried different tactics. One night when I was getting ready to go to sleep she came to me in said in her most charming voice," Please take this pill."

I asked, "What is it?"

"It's Frisium. It will help you sleep soundly."

"Moka, I don't have any trouble sleeping. I always have full night's sleep and I sleep during the day too. I don't have any sleeping problems."

"Yes, you have. You always sleep on the roof."

"I just lay down there for two to three hours. I don't have any problems"

"Please take this, please….."

After seeing her teary eyes I just couldn't say no. Well, Moka's helping hand didn't stop there.

Moka decided to take me to a psychiatrist. But she didn't tell me she was taking me to see a psychiatrist. She told me we were going to meet one of her distant uncles who had just arrived from America and it's our social duty to see him.

Moka thought that I wouldn't go if she told me we were going to see a psychiatrist. We went to the gentlemen's house. He was a middle aged man. It looked like he was pretty wealthy too.

He received us cordially. We sat together in his study. We started to talk about the paintings in his study. Suddenly he went out to receive a call. He came back and asked me what we were talking about. I said "We were talking about the previous world cup football. We were talking about French footballer Zidane"

"Oh yeah, Please continue."

After that we started talking about football. The gentlemen couldn't even see that I changed the topic of our conversation, because he wasn't even paying attention. Well I always thought psychiatrists just nod their head at everything you say and doodle in their notebook.

Well after a while he started to ask me questions. They were clever questions so that I wouldn't understand the situation. So I decided to play with him a little.

I am going to give you a few examples of his questions and my answers.

Q: Do you have nightmares.

A: Yes.

Q: Do have nightmares every day.

A: Yes.

Q: The same or a different dream every night?

A: The same dream.

Q: What do you see?

A: I see that I am cutting a fish. It feels like I know that fish. I get much tensed- How could I know a fish. I look carefully and see that it isn't a fish. I am cutting a man. That man is no one else but me. I get very confused. Then I cook that man. Then I eat it. I eat myself. But taste isn't good. I put too much salt.

Q: I think you are making all this up. Aren't you?

A: yes, you are right.

Q: Why did you do that?

A: I want to have weird dreams. But I always have normal nightmares. So I think of weird dreams.

Q: What do you mean by normal nightmares?

A: I won't tell you that. You will laugh at me.

Q: Are you afraid of the dark?

A: No I am afraid of the light.

Q: what do you mean?

A: I have a bit afraid during the day. The fears go away after the sun sets.

Q: Hmm… (He made a sound like he understood some hidden great meaning)

Q: Your wife tells me that you talk to monkeys. Is it true?

A: Absolutely. Moka isn't the kind of girl who makes up stuff.

Q: What do you talk about with the monkeys?

A: Most of the times I just tell them jokes. They understand my jokes and laugh.

Q: Monkeys laugh at your jokes?

A: Yes. Monkeys are the closest to us humans. They can laugh and cry like us. They laugh vey peculiarly. Have you ever heard a monkey laughing?

The psychiatrist answered, no.

I said, "Then come to my house someday. I will let you listen to the monkeys laughing."

He said, " Yeh. I should also bring my son he would have fun."

Me: Bring your wife too. Women like this kind of stuff.

He didn't even notice that I started to ask questions and he ended up answering them. Roles had reversed.

Me: Another animal can smile like man. Do you know which one?

Psy: No.

Me: Tigers. Jim corbett wrote about a tigers laugh in his hunting book. He wrote about a man eating tiger in "Ranikhet". Have you read his books?

Psy: No.

Me: Have you heard his name before?

Psy: No.

Me: I have his books in my library. Do want it?

Psy: Okay.

After an hour he just gave me lots of sleeping pills and told me to take two pills before going to sleep every day.

I told him that I don't have any trouble sleeping. I can go to sleep whenever I want. Sleep is never a problem for me.

Psy: even if you don't have any problems just take them every day. It's just to cool you nerves.

Me: Thank you.

Psy: Take my number call whenever you have any problems.

ME: Even if it's late at night?

Psy: No problem.

Me: it won't annoy you?

Psy: No, no. I am always ready to help.

After the long session I and Moka returned home. She had a perpetual smile on her face. It looked like she believed that all of my problems were cured. So I behaved perfectly normal (As normal as I can behave) for the day.

Before going to sleep I had an idea. I wanted to test if I can actually annoy the gentlemen.

I decided to call him. (At 3.30 am)

He picked up the phone after many rings. In a sleepy voice he answered the phone," Who is it?"

"I am Tsukune. Moka brought me to see you today. Moka told me that you were her distant uncle. But I know that isn't the case. You are a doctor for mad men."

"Don't say mad. They are just mentally challenged. It is a crime to call them mad."

"Sorry"

"Why did you call me at this hour? Do you have any problem?"

"You said that you don't have any problems receiving calls no matter what the time."

"Yes, tell me what your problem is? I just woke up from my sleep to get this call."

"I have some sleep related questions."

"What?"

"There are sleeping pills for men. Is there any sleeping medicine for trees?"

"What the heck do you mean?"

"I just want to ask if there is any medicine which put trees to sleep. We know that trees sleep. I want to know if there is any medicine which puts the trees to sleep in broad daylight."

"Is this your question?"

"Yes"

"You called me at 3 in the night to just ask me this?"

"Yes"

"I don't know the answer." Right after saying this he just cut the line.

I called him again at 4. I thought that after seeing my number he wouldn't receive my call. But he answered.

I asked in a very timid tone, "How are you sir"

He answered in a sleepy voice, "Who is it?"

"I am Tsukune. Moka brought me today to see you."

"What's the matter now?'

"I just wanted to ask you a question."

"Please go to sleep and let me sleep in peace."

"Please answer my question. I can't go to sleep without knowing the answer."

"What's the question?"

"We know that trees have life. So if man can go mad then can trees also get mad? Like in ten mango trees can one be mad?"

The gentlemen cut the line after using some colorful words.

I tried to call him after that but he switched off his phone. I tried at 6 but his phone was off. So I tried diligently. Finally he switched on his phone received my call at near 9 am. He tiredly answered the phone, "Who is it?"

"It's me Tsukune. Moka brought me yesterday to see you."

He didn't even let me finish just cut the line. He didn't open his phone all day. I just relentlessly tried to call him. We bored people have a whole lot of patience. He switched on the next day and I was the first to call him. Just after hearing my voice he cut the line. After that I tried to call him for the next three days but couldn't reach him. I think he changed his number.

Moka tried to take me to him again. But he refused to see me. Moka couldn't understand why.

I am still trying to get his new number.

….


End file.
